I am considering running as a write-in candidate for public office. Since city mayors only bring in about $12K to $15K a year, I thought I should seek a state office where I could make a few hundred thousand based on kickbacks and lobbying ventures. I will wait a few terms before I consider a seat in Congress. I have noticed that those at that level, representing the little people such as myself, can make a few million in just a couple of years. I am not interested in the presidency, so rest easy readers. However, know this... if I am elected to a high public office, I will seek out and comprise my associate cabinet of those faithful readers first - for advice and counsel. Then I will fill vacancies with street people, as i believe most have misunderstood gifts and survival instincts. Besides, they merely work for food.
Anyway, an email/chain letter is floating around and it is currently being credited to comedian Bill Cosby. I will relate his platform that is very similar to mine.
(1) 'Press 1 for English' is immediately banned. English is the official language. Speak it or wait at the border until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the Wal-Mart policy, 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.
(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border (six month tour). They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put anything in it, you don't get anything out of it. Neither the president nor any other politician will be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.
(7) Professional Athletes & Steroids. The FIRST time you check positive you're banned for life.
(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method, the first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There are no more life sentences. If convicted of murder, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim; gun, knife, strangulation, etc. This will happen within 24 hours. That will give you time to think about it and make peace with your maker.
(9) One export will be allowed, Wheat. The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.
(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress. Hats off, left hand over heart.
(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc. Hats off, left hand over heart.
(13) Congress listens to the people. Congress will thoroughly read bills and discuss them and let the people know what is in them in their entirely and will follow their desires.
(14) Limited congressional terms - 8 years max, then you are done and a working person again AND pays taxes.
Thank you for your continued support for my candidacy... NLM