The Nekked Lizards

The Library of the Lizard

I have collected books over the years. Some I purchased, some I just forgot to return to the local library. Many I procured from garage sales or people who no longer want them. It's a hobby and I need a place for them to be displayed. Once we moved into the new house, I found an excellent opportunity to not only spend money I don't have, but to customize a bookshelf of epic proportions. I wanted floor to ceiling shelves and to catorize them according to theme. Some themes I won't use as much as others so they will be on the top as I will need a ladder to get to them. Thus the process begins.
This is the first of a few boxes. And here is the beginnings of the shelf.

One side - and the other...

Now I have unpacked a few books after the shelves are completed.
  And yet another...

And one more for good measure.
This is by far not an end to the madness. I am still bringing down boxes. I will update as I can - and as soon as my back heals. Happy reading! NLM

Furry Destructo Dog

Hi, My name is Harley and when I am not marking every bit of household territory, I seek out and destroy socks. It is my mission in life (when not eatin' and poopin') to force a shopping spree to the local clothing outlet for multiple packages of new socks, as I am able to distinguish pairs and chew a hole in one of them.

Everyone has a sidekick and mine is the ever-neurotic Isabelle. Here she is watching intently as I formulate my latest plan.

This without a doubt will be my greatest achievement since the demise of the very rare plant debacle. What?! The socks are put in he drawers? How dare they? I must exact my revenge somehow.... I have it! Now watch carefully as I engage the services of my accomplice.

Mere mortal!

I love this expensive pillow. It has good stuffing stuff in it - or used to....

Muuhahahha! My work here is done. I have pity on the humans but not mercy! I think I hear them coming! I could be implicated... I need a scapegoat..

Skittles and my way of combatting hairballs....

Skittles is a very pretty Calico that will turn 3 next week - we think. I got her from the pound for a mere $60.00 minus reproductive organs. What makes her pretty is her long silky fur and her princess attitude. As most cats are, she decides when you are allowed to pet her and when she should be fed and watered and when we should get up in the morning. Skittles also enlists the assistance of the two neurotic Poms as they can bark and she cannot, making the morning routine so much more enjoyable.

During the past few months, Skittles ran into some difficulty maintaining proper hygiene and her attempts to clean herself were at best, negative in a respects, and yet she still tried - being the trooper that she was. She began to accumulate mattes which I could not comb out and she could not lick out. It was also customary to eat right afterward as licking one's self makes you hungry. Try it. There is a study there somewhere I know.

Anyway, the following pics will show her in her haughty glory.

Next she is about to take a nap after eating with her peep, Smitty.

As you might have guessed by now, licking fur and swallowing it, and adding cat food on top of it, does not digest well. Apparently, the food can not get past the hair. Let's clarify one thing here. Fur balls, once they are hurled back up the feline's esophageal tract does not resemble a ball or for that matter, fur. Warning: visual coming... It looks like a mucous-filled, hairy turd log which is accompanied by a pre-ejection sound, very much reminiscent of college weekends - to include dry heaves.

So for the past few weeks, we have heard ominous warnings that Skittles has eaten her fill and is ready to barf most of it back up. This sound echoes throughout the house and we frantically play find the kitty with towels in hand before the putrid hair log emerges from her mouth. Sometimes we make it, sometimes we are too late. the most challenging objective is not to scare her as she will turn to flee with half the barf hanging from her mouth. I can tell you, it is not something you want to have happen if you are entertaining important guests.

Anyway, I got tied of it and I came up with two options: do not ever feed her again, or shave her. I decided the more humane thing would be to shave her and get rid of the mattes once and for all, until it grows back.Luckily I found someone in town willing to take on the risk as she has had all her shots. I dropped her off at noon much to her dismay (Skittles) and picked her up around 3 that afternoon. Here are the results.

 

You can see the love in her eyes.

 

She is actually quite soft.

 

Notice Smitty is content as he knows the importance of maintaining personal hygiene. Lesson? Do not come over to my house and throw up fur or you might be aware of a draft as you leave. NLM

Updates coming soon

We have shaved a cat.
Sold a hot tub.
Poot went to a math competition.
I finished another psychology class.
We got blinds for the new house.
I got my bookshelves up.

Future:
Going to go to Swift Water training.
Starting up another Psych class.
Cleaning out the barn.
Garage sale - big time.
NLL starts a full-time job.
I unpack hundreds of boxes.
Build a fence.
Plant lots of stuff.

Come back later for details. I am going to take a nap.

Poot's Piano Recital

We were finally good parents and video-taped one of Poot's piano recitals.  He wants a synthetizer for Christmas.  We are accepting donations.....

Elderly Jokes Part II

Okay, I have three more age-challenged anecdotes...

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'

Errant Celebration

This is an alert for all of the elders out there. I looked it up and the official holiday for those who have grand children was not yesterday, today or anytime this month for that matter, so stop using it as an excuse to drink and party. Grandparents Day is on the 13th of September this 2009. It was confirmed by an associate that he did take his granddaughter to lunch under the guise of such day. He was suckered, and I bet he will fall for it again in the next few months. If you are a grandparent or have reason to think you might be, but no one has actually said anything or offered proof - I suggest DNA., then beware of this latest scam from little people or young adults appearing as if they are really stressed out. Other than that, the only thing that is going on is that Canada became independent of the UK in 1982 (really) sharing its independence day with Syria (17th) .... while Zimbabwe touts its independence on the 18th. 

Grandparents Day today, I think... I don't know, I can't remember....

I don't believe I have reached mid-life yet so other than the normal crisis of everyday life, I am good. However, there are some of you out there that are contemplating dipping into your retirement funds for a cruise, or changing your wills because one of the children more or less pissed you off. It could be that you are a grandparent or are just thinking about having a grand-baby.

They are a wonderful gift of life - much like a puppy, but no tail. Somebody told me it was Grandparent's Day today. Someone else said it was tomorrow. I think it should be an entire week because of the loss of memory cells. That way, you are bound to celebrate by showing off the GB and then, once you have spoiled it, give it back to its rightful owner.

Here to celebrate Grandparent's Day are some little ditties.

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember -

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries. '
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'

Until next time, whenever that is, this is NLM....

An update on moving

We still are. Apparently, I have a lot more crap valuable items than I originally thought.

Tea Party anyone?

Let's see how this national events plays out on the media - newspapers? CNN? MSNBC? FOX? This is an important event that many individuals will converge with similar views - peaceful. Unlike the hate protest in California over the justified killing of a 4-time cop murderer or the vulgarities of those attempting to promote same-sex marriage in San Fran.

Locate the nearest Tea Party near you and beware demonic implants whose sole purpose is to disrupt the ceremony with planned deceit. If you see crowds on the news, it will be the natural tendency to show those morons promoting disgust. Okay enough of my one-sided banter. Go forth, be free and stimulate the economy by seeing a baseball game and eating an apple pie!!