The Nekked Lizards

Doctor's notes - still funny if not true...

The following quotes were taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians (or maybe not):  

• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a  year.
  
• On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.  
• She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.  
• The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
• Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.  
• I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to floor.  
• The patient is tearful and crying constantly.
• She also appears to be depressed.  
• Discharge status:  Alive but without permission  
• The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him. 
• Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.  
• The patient refused an autopsy.
• The patient has no past history of suicides.
• The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

2009 is coming to an end...

Oh to be young again and do those stupid, but really cool things we did. Let's take a walk down memory lane, shall we?

Ah, the importance of learning first hand, the meaning of "CRAP!?""That knocked me on my A$$!"

Tastes like chicken...

Peer pressure

Where did I put that rake?

 

High tide cometh...

This needs a caption?

I don't think this one needs a caption either.... "Duh!"

It could be winter....

It's okay, it's seedless...

A flat screen would give more clarity.

I saw my dog do it... or was that my dad?

And the winner is...

Cheers for the micro-brew!

Hang gliding in the Rockies

We have friends who attempt feats of strength, challenge authority, and laugh in the face of death. Many are no longer around to give accounts of their adventures. Our hero in the following story is one such individual.

We have the highest mean average of altitude of all fifty states at about 6,000 ft. We have 56 "fourteeners" that provide the Rocky Mountain highs. It make for good hiking, camping and hang gliding. As I heard from the police report, our friends were hang-gliding near an area where some old timers live - away from civilization.

Hans (not his real name, but it will do I suppose) takes his glider to the top of the ridge, then runs with a yell as he reaches the edge - into the updraft and into the cool, crisp air.

Meanwhile, an older couple were sitting on their rustic porch talking about going into town for supplies before winter hits, when the old lady exclaims she just saw the biggest bird she has ever seen.

"I'm afraid for the cows! Theys all we got!"

"Get my gun!" shouts the old man. The lady brings back the trusty pump shotgun and takes careful aim.

BLAM! BANG! POW! BANG! "YeeHaw!" BANG! POOWWW!

The "bird" struggled a bit, but then continued its lazy circle behind the mountain.

"I think you miss him," the old lady smirked.

"It was quite a distance," he replied, " but I made him drop whatever he was carrying..."

Wolverines versus the Buckeyes

You can use these with just about any team. I plan on using them when the Broncos play the Charges for the lead in their division. Anyway, for today's event, let's just poke some fun at Michigan's finest.

Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Ann Arbor?
A: Columbus: 187 Miles

Q. Why did they stop serving ice at Michigan games?
A. The senior who knew the recipe graduated

Q. What did the Michigan graduate say to the Ohio State graduate?
A Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order, please? (I always thought that rude for McDonald's)

Q: Why do University of Michigan fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
 
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Michigan campus?
A: A visitor.
 
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Michigan library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

Q: Why should the University of Michigan change its name to the Opossums?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What does the average University of Michigan student get on his SAT?
A: Drool

Q: What do you get when you cross a groundhog and a Wolverine?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
 
Q: How do you make University of Michigan cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours

Q: What do you get when you cross a University of Michigan fan and a pig?
A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.
 
Q: How many University of Michigan freshman does it take to change a light
bulb?
A: None, its a sophomore course.

Some homework... Transference, thought you would never ask.

Transference - as it applies to us in our daily lives. Without delving too much into the past, we are supposed to learn our lessons from a historical aspect and promote what were the good choices versus those that were bad, in order to prevent them (the bad) and therefore progress into a more acceptable utopia. This theory will never be a reality because we will always believe our autonomy allows for better decisions. We just do not learn. We adapt.

I have always been under the perception that we are products of other humans... emotions, behavior, actions, status, etc. We see others and say to ourselves, this is who I want to be or "I hope I never treat my children that way". However, as transference is understood by me, we are at the mercy of unconscious feelings or a displacement from earlier memories. As a therapist I could see the relationship  or the interpretation of a patient's early experiences and how they reflect during a present relationship. Is the patient considering taking on the good? Or are they defining the bad and making decisions not to condone an action as it reminds them of a previous experience? As a therapist, we must recognize those repressed feelings or somehow bring them to the surface to study and work though.

Secondly, in regards to the "first indication of a preconceived notion", it is my personal thought that if someone from outside the demographic, enters a room that is unfamiliar to them, they will automatically assume from folklore, rumors, friends, television or other "sources" that the group emulates that dynamic. Here is my true life example (Smith, 2009):

I grew up in southeastern Oklahoma / northeastern Texas, residing for the most part on Red River. I never considered myself "redneck" but I did take note that our lifestyle was at a slower pace. We said, "yes ma'am " and skipped school the entire week of Thanksgiving to go hunting. After attending a small college, I joined the Air Force. I new of the big city lights of Dallas and San Antonio, but it was a higher class of cowboy. Instead of keeping our guns in the rack behind our heads, we put them under the seat.

As we got closer to graduating, we were asked where we wanted to be stationed. I put in for all bases in Texas - there were 16 at the time. As they called my name, I knew for sure I would be close to home. I was wrong. I opened my packet and found I was going to NEW YORK. Can you imagine? A country boy was about to be sent to the land of concrete, gangs, Wall Street, dialects that I couldn't understand....
This is a preconceived notion. I was about to leave my wide open country for a sure death. I did a little research and attempted to quell my fears, but I was still very apprehensive, but it worked out in the end. I made friends and they protected me and my accent against Yankee vermin. It was actually one of the better tours and I will always have fond memories of the area. Consider this on the smaller scale. Instead of the state, its a group. It is still a person who is scared of the unknown and until their fears are put aside, they will be wondering why they are there.

Veteran's Day

When someone says "Happy" Veteran's Day, I wonder about the connotation. Is it a happy day? Other than getting a day off and the parades and other events.... are we keen to the sacrifices the military has made throughout the ages for their country and their leaders? Their people... families...

Today is somber and as I write this, it is cold and somewhat overcast. I can see the sun beginning its ascent in the east and by all accounts, it should make for a beautiful sunrise. Many of us see this day as any other. As I am retired Air Force, I am privileged to see this same sun rise everyday and set - but here are thousands... millions of servicemen who will never get that simple opportunity again. You and I are here because of them.

I believe many people take this for granted, but I know many others - those survivors of the conflicts - do not. They live everyday with a flag in their yard, a bumper sticker on their vehicle or a vivid memory of fighting, death and loss. The families remember too. Graves are visited and adorned with flowers and tears of those who left us too soon - all in the name of freedom.

We honor our Veterans today with tributes, free food, parades and reflection. It is no small sacrifice to give their lives and livelihood for a nation that often times seems beyond saving. But our country is one that will always be ours and throughout our short history those who have served in the military did it for different reasons... school, to support a family, carrying on a family tradition or the sense of duty. I did it it because at that time, I had no where else to go. I had no purpose or reason and I thought, no future. I found by joining a certain camaraderie and an immediate family and a tight-knit community. I found a home in the Air Force and I will never forget those friends and memories.

The military is a family. It is a microcosm of what we could be as a nation with a common purpose. Maybe that is what the "happy" means. Maybe it's not a disregard to the painful memories, but of those we had while serving. Maybe when you look to a Veteran and see him or her salute as the America flag walks by and there is a tear in their eye, they are remembering what it meant to them, under the wing of a nation. The military, whether Coast Guard, Marines, Army, Navy or the Air Force, all serve with a purpose and for the common good - to protect this nation.

I want to thank all of those who had served in the past, serve now and for those who are considering serving in the future - there is no greater joy than giving of yourself for the protection of this country. Thank you for all you do. We are here for you. We are your family. 

Me explain?

Just to let your know. There has been a brief intermission and I hope to get back to my regularly scheduled view of the world as soon as I can.

Grandson goes on candy rampage - news at 9

I remember when our moms dropped us off somewhere in town and told us to have fun, never eat an apple before it was inspected, and don't take your sister's candy until we divide it all later. We would eat candy for weeks.

The grandson is just starting his plundering here in a mini-me Frankenstein suit. Pretty cute. How could you not give this guy lots of sweets to keep him up for the next few days?

Okay so it's been a week. Let's talk change

I've been busy - what else is new. Our government has been too. But I am not sneaky like they are. We as a nation need to be defended, because we love our Starbucks and right to talk about things other countries execute over. So with our several amendments we are overall happy. The executive branch is signing a $680.2 billion defense policy. Cool. I am all for defending this country even though it includes California and Vermont and most of Massachusetts. Can't get away with that - yet. So we get to R&D really cool stuff like this rocket below.

A cone of moisture surrounds part of the Ares I-X rocket during lift off Wednesday, Oct. 28, 2009, on a sub-orbital test flight from the Kennedy Space Center's Launch Pad 39-B in Cape Canaveral, Fla. (AP Photo/Chris O'Meara).

I trust most of you would think that providing support to our troops is a great thing. It allocates $550.2 billion on regular military stuff, $130B on contingency ops, and a 3.4% increase on cost-of-living pay for our troops. However, there was also a "hate crime" provision - which has nothing to do with the defense bill - that was "attached" at the very end... supposedly hidden under the good stuff. This "hate crime" bill makes it unlawful to be mean to various ethic groups, to include certain races and sexual orientations. What was conspicuously left out of the bill was a group that many citizens spat upon when they came home from fighting for our freedom - the vets! So though the hate crime bill is attached to the Defense Department bill - it's apparently not enough to protect our military from being targets of hate crimes... but we must protect the "others". Here is more of your government at work this week...

House Minority Leader John Boehner speaks behind a copy of the Democrat's version of the health care bill during a news conference on Capitol Hill in Washington, Thursday, Oct. 29, 2009.

I have seen this guy on many street corners of late.

Our life span was getting up there. Say goodbye to certain social aspects once this healthcare reform passes. My taxes have already gone up $200 this year already, on top of 8 mandatory furlough days. You can't tell me this change is good....

Good thing Pelosi and Reed are out there fighting for us. Otherwise we'd be in a lot of trouble.

 

Pomeranians for sale (born Sept 19th)

The Pups are 5 weeks old today. The AKC mother (Isabelle) is 4 years old (black with white paws) while the AKC father (Harley) is just over a year (orange sable). Harley's father and grandfather are both champion bloodlines as they have placed 1st in show in Cincinnati AKC competition.

Here are pictures of the puppies: male (blk), female (blk) and female (wolf sable). 

If you are wondering after the pics, "yes" I can tell the two black ones apart. They have different mannerisms...

All are running around and chasing mom and dad and sometimes the cat. I began feeding them little mini chunks of dry puppy food as their puppy teeth are in. They love it. So does Isabelle. I think she is ready to wean them...

If you or you know someone who is interested in bringing one of these pups home, they will be available at the 8 week mark. By then, they will have their first shots and ready to start their own families. They are already AKC registered, so payment and transfer of ownership is all that is needed. 

They are very cute now, but they will go through an "ugly stage" at about 4 months. They will get their second coat and begin to get their shape. If you are not familiar with Poms, know that ours will not weigh any more than about 5lbs. (Harley weighs 4.3 lbs now) and they are very active "lap" dogs. They love attention and will follow you everywhere. They are also great watchdogs, but I doubt intruders would take them seriously....

For those seriously considering ownership, please email me at: rrsusaf@yahoo.com and I can answer more questions and discuss terms.

For more official information, go to the American Kennel Association (AKC.org) and this link for Pomeranians. 

Just in time for Christmas.... from our home to yours.... NLM